Jack Kornfield writes in A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life, “Much of spiritual life is self-acceptance, maybe all of it.” One of the things that’s hard about lovingkindness, I think, is that it’s possible to feel loving of others while quietly holding onto self-doubt. Hold these grounding practices close to your heart and use them whenever needed. You might feel defensive instead of communicative. The list can be as long as you want!Īs you practice loving kindness, begin to recognize whenever you feel uprooted: instead of compassionate, you might feel irritated, resentful, or bitter.
It can be talking to a good friend, taking a walk, spending some time in nature, or curling up with a good book, watching television, meditating, or yoga. I know people who absolutely love puzzling, coloring and Sodoku for this. Maybe you feel better after a long shower or bath. What helps you relax? Write down a list of things that help you feel calm, creative and focused. Here are three small, but profound, ways to gently maintain a lovingkindness practice. So, how do you get started on something that seems so simple, but isn’t? And I don’t think I’m alone in experiencing repeated bouts of resentment and sadness toward people I love-probably partly from expecting to receive my self-worth from them. I don’t think I’m alone in finding it easier to extend compassion to others than to myself. GENTLE HABITS FOR CULTIVATING LOVING KINDNESS In the 12th century, the word inocent (Old French) meant simply “harmless not guilty pure.” The prefix, in, meaning not or un-, is attached to the suffix nocere (Latin), meaning “to harm.” Nocere itself originated from the root nek-, meaning “death.” In that regard, we can read innocence as meaning not harmful or not deathful not yielding death. They are even more fascinating when taken together. The origins of the word innocent are various. It’s about seeing beyond guilt and shame to the fundamental, universal innocence of all beings. It’s about embracing compassion as a state of enlightenment, as the highest nature of ourselves and the true nature of God. It’s a practice of recognizing our own inner beauty and watching it manifest as love and healthy attachment in our relationships. “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.” Loving kindness is kind of like looking at ourselves and expressing love-then letting that love reverberate, like two mirrors reflecting one another into infinity. This is the work of finding self-forgiveness, releasing shame and guilt, and loving ourselves for exactly who we are. It is part of the difficult inner work we all face.
Loving kindness is not just about empathy, presence, and listening in regards to others. My whole life, I’ve been doing it backward-extending love to others and then, only at the end, if there was space left, extending it out to myself.
Finally, as I lay in bed drifting off to sleep the other night, the answer came to me at once. So what was it about this practice I found so difficult? Cross-legged on the carpet, I pushed my headphones into my ears and listened carefully to every word-until I couldn’t anymore, and I turned it off.įor the rest of the day, I wondered, why? I think of myself as a kind person. When I sat down to do one of Jack Kornfield’s loving kindness meditations (find it here), I found it surprisingly difficult. Of course, that doesn’t mean it’s an easy task. I believe we all have the capacity to embrace loving kindness in our daily lives. But what makes loving kindness (also known as lovingkindness) a practice rather than a feeling? In his video Seeing the Goodness, Jack Kornfield refers to the practice of loving kindness as “seeing the original innocence, dignity, and beauty of another.”Īt first glance, this might sound like a simple thing to do. “A little kingdom I possess, where thoughts and feelings dwell and very hard the task I find of governing it well.”
#Mindfulness daily sounds true free
Can’t wait? Take advantage of the free video teachings. Are you interested in studying loving kindness more in-depth? Check out Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach’s The Power of Awareness, a 7-week mindfulness training and community mentoring program beginning February 18, 2020.
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